Are the Debts Hidden or Ignored?
I'm in control of money in our house. Although perhaps that term 'in control' is a little misleading, because you might say the whole thing has got rather out of hand. There's a few thousand here, a few thousand there, and that's not including the £3000 still hanging over from a student loan. When my partner talks about future plans for spending, I try to be vague and redirect the conversation to less volatile topics, while thinking: 'Not a hope, pal'.
I think he has started to get wise to this tactic because recently, during one of my diversions, he stopped and said: 'How much do we owe? What's on the credit cards? No, no, no, I don't want to know...'
And that, I'm afraid, is the crux of the matter. He genuinely doesn't want any part in organising our finances. He calls me to transfer money from our joint account to his sole account when he has an urgent need, but beyond those moments he doesn't give money a single thought.
It's my job to make sure there's money there for the mortgage, council tax, utilities and insurance policies. As long as there's food in the cupboards and beer in the fridge, he's oblivious. So yes, I do hide the debt from him. But only because he doesn't want to look.
which way to turn????